"Introduction, please. Key a b-flat. Here we go!"

My name is Emily [insert Edith Bunker's cling peaches 'mmhmmmm' here]. I was born in Wilmington, Delaware in August, 1989. I’ve always felt responsible for the death of Lucille Ball (she peaced out four months and one day before I was born - there was only room for one psychotic, August-born redhead, I suppose). The first thing I remember liking that liked me back was Dorothy Gale. I had a horrifying puberty: it started when I was 9. I’m a high school graduate; I go to community college. My entrance exam was me going into a “hot... airless little room...” and having them tell me my SAT scores were high enough to do whatever the hell I felt like. I decided to stay in my house because I'm poor. My mother still tells me I should have gone to a University so I could move out. Eventually, I'll move somewhere else, where it's not so HUMID. But for now, I'm stuck in Wilmington. Delaware, this is your last chance!




My name is Lara. I was born in Oakland, California in September, 1985. I've always felt responsible for the death of Bea Arthur (I was saying just a few days before she died that she would live forever). The first thing I remember liking that liked me back was Judy's hair in Meet Me In St. Louis. I had a bad puberty. It started when I was way too young and is still giving me agony. I'm a high school graduate. I went to a small liberal arts school. My entrance exam was in Spanish (but I ended up taking French instead, because evidently I'm Liza Minnelli). I decided to move out of the house when I was 23. My mother (who, incidentally, is Ida Morgenstern) still refers to this as the best moment in both our lives, but still calls me 5 times a day. Eventually, I ran to San Francisco. Where it's gay. And I figured I'd get along better. Now I'm still here. San Francisco, like your streets, you line my heart with rainbow flags!


I hope that you find that our blog will be at least a little interesting. Believe me, we'll be getting one hell of a kick out of it!