Wednesday, July 29, 2009


My friend Sarah and I decided to go put our names in the lottery for the $25 tickets to see Wicked last night. So I put my name in, she put her name in, and we waited to see if we would be drawn. After a good 10 names or so, we heard Sarah's name announced. We quite literally jumped for joy (much to the delight of bystanders), and went to hang out at the library for a while until the show started. We saw a cool calligraphy exhibit in the library, and then we headed over to Gyro King, a restaurant neither of us had been to but had gotten good reviews. Sarah loved her gyro, I didn't like mine because there was too much dill. How did I ever survive with Russian food?

Then we walked over to the theater. The good thing about San Francisco is that the whole city is quite compact. It's a "big city," but it's not big by any means. So literally, the Orpheum is right across from Gyro King, which is right across from the library. Quite convenient. We stood back from the crowd while people were still buying tickets, and when they started letting people in, we went straight in, discussing Spamalot and other crazy things that had nothing to do with the issue at hand. We found our seats (row G in the Orchestra, which was fantastic--limited view, but no matter because we got to see every minute detail on everyone's face), and sat down to watch the show. The production was quite good. Sarah and I had both seen different productions, so at the intermission we were comparing the Glindas and Elphabas to the other productions we had seen.

Now, confession here. I'm not a huge Wicked fan, which might surprise some people. I think the lighting is absolutely phenomenal, I think the sets and costumes are amazing. I don't particularly like the script, and a lot of it doesn't make much sense. I probably would have passed on seeing it this time if it weren't for Patty Duke as Madame Morrible. I've always loved Patty Duke. Ever since my mother showed me The Miracle Worker for the first time when I was about 5, I have loved her. Recently I saw her at the Castro and got to see how amazing she was as a person as well, and I was kind of newly entranced. So of course I made up my mind to go see Wicked, even though I'm not particularly crazy about the play.

Afterward, we went to the stage door. The cast came out, one by one, to autograph programs and such, and Sarah got the autographs of just about everyone in the cast. I wanted to save my program for Patty Duke. She finally came out, and when she got to us, Sarah said "I'm going to let her go first, she's the big fan."

So I told her "I've been a fan of yours since I was 5." She looked at me, obviously moved, and said "Ohhh, god BLESS YOU!" I told her "Ever since my mom showed me The Miracle Worker." She looked like she was about to cry, and then reached out and gave me a big hug. By this time we were attracting a lot of attention. After she gave me the hug she said "You're wonderful!" Then I told her I saw her at the Castro, and we talked about that for a little bit, and it was all so...amazing and surreal. I'm still on cloud nine from this experience.

I felt SO AMAZING. She is just so incredibly nice, and she essentially made my life. But really, what makes me feel the best was that I think I made HER night. She seemed so genuinely moved that someone would be such a longstanding fan of hers. She's talked in interviews about how she enjoys meeting fans at the stage door, and I think that she was surprised that someone as young as I am is a fan of hers, and not only that, but has been a fan from such a young age. It pains me to say this, but I'm not sure too many people knew who she was at the stage door. Seriously, no one else got a hug!!! And we attracted quite a bit of attention!!!

If any of you ever get a chance to meet Patty Duke, don't pass it up. She is the warmest, sweetest most down-to-earth person you will ever meet.

Chickadees, this night was amazing.


Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Joyeux Anniversaire/Vive La France/Another Excuse for a Holiday Greeting

Well lovelies, the time to bestow holiday greetings has once again come upon us. Yesterday was Bastille Day, and since we at Screen Mavens are never ones to do holidays lightly (when I heard that there was a Bastille Day parade down the Champs-Elysses, I had to muster up all the resistance I could not to fly to Paris immediately), we wish you all a very happy Bastille Day, and many more to come.

That's a picture I took when I was in Paris last winter. I'm obsessed with it.

Emily and I are obsessed with celebrations (I mean really...we celebrate the anniversary of Judy's last day on earth, for pete's sake), so now that my internet is strong and virile, I am able to counteract youtube and create my own video in celebration of Bastille Day and any other holiday that might happen to come along. Hit it!


Tuesday, July 14, 2009

The Book of Mayer, Verse 5

The delightful Kayla has once again supplied us with a precious verse from The Book of Mayer. Also, Kayla now has her own blog, and I think I'm safe in saying that you all want to follow her!

[disclaimer: do not read this book.]

The Lord sayeth to Nelson Eddy, "Dangle Louis B. Mayer out his office window, my son."

Nelson, always one to question, humbly replied, "As much as it would please me, Lord, I do not think it possible. My might, it is not enough."

The Lord nodded, acknowledging the baritone's point. "Well, Nelson, it's like this- either you do it, and it's true, or you don't do it, and someone comes along in 1979, saying you actually did do it because you were screwing Jeanette MacDonald, and had some sort of rage complex."

Nelson, his eyebrow raised, shook his head in disbelief, "Lord, I don't understand. They say to leave things in God's hands, and you seem to be leaving it to me."

"Yeah, well, sometimes God can't handle the firestorm of idiocy and leaves it up to his people."

"So I can do this or not do this, and either way, someone will think I did?"

"Uh, is that not what I just said? Whatever, those are your words of wisdom for the day. Go with it, my son."

"Are they going to say anything else?"

"Two words- rape machine!"

"I'm sorry?"

"Look, I gotta go talk to Joan Crawford about some kids, so you just... you have a nice day, Nelson."

Monday, July 13, 2009

Everything I need to know about life I learned from The Judy Garland Show.

1. June Allyson screws things up when she's drunk.
2. Zina Bethune has no coordination.
3. When you're angry, it helps to SINNNNNG your rage off.
4. Don't let Martha Raye near your hands.
5. There aren't that many Irish people.
6. Vic Damone has a massive forehead vein.
7. Liza Minnelli ate her cereal.
9. Every seasonal song should be preceeded by "...buongiorno..."
10. Day In, Day Out, cannot be sung with a small mouth. It can't be done.
11. It is necessary to scream in the middle of "Fever."
12. It was a real sawmill.
13. Little Nellie Kelly was made in 1782.
14. When a moth flies in your mouth, park him for a chorus and a half while he flies around in your cheek. Not applicable when you're singing "Get Happy."
15. Rudders don't go on the front.

We're a little late, folks...

Sometimes, after a long and unnecessary hiatus, we at Screen Mavens like to insert the titles to episodes of Rhoda in our subject line. Pardon us. ("Pardon me... HAHRGHH!")

Lovely, divine readers, we are so sorry to have detained you, but we came down with a bout of hepatitis and ballooned out to 180 pounds. 20 quarts of fluid had to be drained from our bodies, and we were pronounced semi-invalids and told that we would never blog again. However, it's time to stage a miraculous comeback. Hopefully you all are not "pitifully... unprepared."

And now, you may rise.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Penny and Rosie Advertise for K-Mart.

Ok, so let's get one thing out in the open, readers.

We're obsessed with Penny Marshall. She's just a walking poster child for unintentional hilarity. I mean really. Laverne and Shirley? The Odd Couple? Any time she attends a Lakers' game? Pure genius, folks.

And here is a treasure trove of gems we encountered on youtube. Enjoy.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Belated 4th of July Post

Well, lovely, divine readers, we are belated in our bestowing of a 4th of July greeting upon you. However, we do wish to say, now, to all of our readers in the United States (and abroad, whatever, we're open and all-welcoming), HAPPY JULY 4TH! We do sincerely hope you enjoyed an insane amount of food and fireworks. I, personally, had some carrots, strawberries, and a piece of bread. I'm trying not to eat any carbs, and I feel quite proud of myself that I only failed a little bit with the bread situation.

So...yeah. We wanted to commemorate the occasion with a not-so-appropriate clip from The Judy Garland Show, featuring 4th of July antics for like, half a second, but we couldn't find the clip on youtube. So we're going with this instead. Happy 4th, possums!


Thursday, July 2, 2009

Grand Rapids, here we come, chickens!!

Emily and I have long been planning a trip to the annual Judy Garland Festival in Grand Rapids, MN. For those who don't know, the Judy Garland Festival (or the "fest" for short, and between myself and Emily, "FEST" or "FEST '10") is typically held the 4th week of June in Judy's hometown of Grand Rapids, and the majority of the events take place at the Sawmill Inn, right across the street from the Judy Garland Birthplace.

I have been to the Fest 3 times, once when I was 12, again when I was 13, and again when I was 14. In the words of our friend Ashley, it's probably "the only thing weirder than a Trekkie convention." It's hilarious. The munchkins are there (the surviving ones, anyway), a special guest like, for example, Lorna Luft, is always there (I met her my first year there), and PLENTY of crazed Judy fans. My second year I won this award for Wizard of Oz knowledge, and was interviewed for NPR, which was magnificent (though I don't know if it ever aired). So there are a lot of opportunities to really relish in Judyness.

Since I haven't been in almost 10 years, and Emily has never been, we hatched a plan to go in the summer of 2010. We have just begun the initial planning stages of this event--we now have a room booked at the Sawmill Inn, a room directly tailored to our specifications (which were simply "the most hilarious room they have")--including a microwave and a refrigerator, and a prime location next to the pool. We're also starting to laugh at the Sawmill restaurant menu, which, for us, means we're STOKED to eat there. We are SOOOOO EXCITED!!

Here are a few pictures from Fest 1998.

My June Allyson autograph from Fest '98

My sister and myself with June Allyson, Fest '98. June Allyson was obsessed with my sister. I find that hilarious.

With my sister and my friend Anna at the "Get Acquainted Buffet", Fest '98. My bangs are horrific, and as we've discussed...bad puberty.

With Jerry Maren, the "Lollipop Kid" from The Wizard of Oz. The one in the middle, not the elf-like gnome thing on the right. That's my sister.

With Lorna Luft. I was shy to meet her (I was 12 years old), until she boomed at me "Come on over! I don't bite!" And then she proceeded to puzzle over my name for a while, and was still muttering it to herself as I walked away. Brilliant.